Is This Wrong?
by Dustbunny3
Summary: One-shot. Crack. Kiba's day has gone from bad to worse. He's seen his mother with suitors before, but this is just... wrong?


Disclaimer: Read this through. If you still need to be told Dustbunny doesn't own _Naruto_, you aren't familiar with the series

A/N: I really don't know where ideas like this come from. They just sort of hit me. Well, sort of. This scenario was thrown around through group after group before I finally settled on my victi- er, subjects

.1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.

It was evening when Kiba arrived home, dirty and sweaty and aching from a day of community service. Really, who took accidentally blowing up an academy wall so seriously? He _had_ apologized. But, _no_, that wasn't good enough. As punishment he had been sentenced a week of D-rank village missions. It had only been the first day and already Kiba was reminded of how grateful he had been and why to get his first real mission years ago.

_You'd think they'd just let me fix the wall and get it over with_, he thought to himself in annoyance, remembering with a frown the tantrum the academy teacher had thrown at the suggestion. She had made it very clear, in a great many unladylike words, that she wanted him nowhere near where her room had once been- ever.

Kiba scowled as he rubbed the small mark on his arm where a kid he had been forced to look after had bitten him. As if his dignity hadn't taken a big enough blow when he had shown up to do what should have been the job of a genin group, the little monster had actually broken his skin. That had only been the start of one of the most pitiful days he had ever had. He was just glad to be home. Seeing Akamaru lazing in his doghouse, Kiba grinned, reminded this time of why he was glad to be home. He whistled, calling Akamaru to him for a greeting.

Akamaru looked up at Kiba and then put his head back down, letting out a short, noncommittal bark.

"_I'm too comfortable. Besides, you smell like cat and baby vomit."_

Kiba blinked in surprise, then scowled even more darkly than before. That ungrateful mutt! This whole mess was mostly his fault anyway, but Kiba had left him at home to spare him the agony. And since when did Akamaru just blow him off?

"Forget you then," Kiba growled, stomping his way to the door. "See if you get to lay around all day tomorrow."

Akamaru regarded Kiba with a slightly raised head, letting slip the canine equivalent of a smirk only when Kiba disappeared inside.

Going in through the back, Kiba's mumbled curses came to an abrupt halt when the delicious aroma of his mother's peanut butter cookies hit him in the face. His stance relaxed immediately and he breathed in deeply, a goofy smile stretching across his face. Inuzuka Tsume wasn't a woman people would think of as the type to prance around her kitchen in a frilly apron baking, and for good reason. Every so often, though, she would commit herself to whipping up a batch of peanut butter cookies- and they were to _die_ for. They were also just what Kiba needed after a day like the one he'd had.

This, however, presented a problem. Nowhere in the vicinity of the kitchen could Kiba spot the cookies that his stomach was no begging for. Mouth watering, he checked the oven, then pantry and cookie jar before submitting to the fact that they must no longer be in the kitchen. If they were anything but his mother's peanut butter cookies, Kiba would have forgotten about it and gone to bed. But these _were_ his mother's peanut butter cookies, and he was thus determined to locate them and eat as many as he could get his hands on. Deciding to start his search in the living room, the most logical location, Kiba pushed open the door that led to the hall that conjoined the rooms.

He was stopped short by the overwhelming smell of scented candles.

_Ugh. Mom must have people over_, Kiba thought as he held one hand to his nose.

The musty smell of the Inuzuka household was completely unoffending to its occupants, but others tended to find it unpleasant. To make up for this, Tsume and Hana had both taken to lighting scented candles when they had guests. Although they had hunted relentlessly to find a brand that wouldn't bother their sensitive noses, Kiba still felt nauseated for the first few seconds that the smell hit him. Even after that he was in danger of getting a headache as a result of exposure.

Under normal circumstances, the smell of these candles would send Kiba back through the kitchen door to the door that led to the basement, where his room was kept. But again, these circumstances were not normal. Through the powerful stench of vanilla and lavender, Kiba could just detect the alluring smell of the peanut butter cookies. At this point he was beyond caring that they had most likely been laid out for his mother's company. He wanted those cookies and he was going to get them, doggone it!

And so, face set in determination, Kiba made his way purposely down the hall towards the living room. He thought he could hear laughter, and momentarily felt relief. If his mother was in a good mood, perhaps his interruption could be forgiven and he could claim his prize without problem.

All thoughts of relief turned tail and ran, Kiba himself unable, at the sight that met him in the living room.

It wasn't that Kiba had never found his mother entertaining a suitor before. Since his father's death when Kiba was eleven, Tsume had had several callers, even to worry Kiba of how his pushy, frightening mother had gotten so many men (actually only three in all of five years) to come home with her. The scene unfolding on his couch, however, was a whole new experience.

"K… _Kurenai-sensei_?" Kiba choked.

The two women on the couch immediately broke apart, both clearly flustered. They stood and began to ramble off what were probably explanations. Kiba, for his part, heard nothing but chatter. He stared at them in blank shock, a wave of garbled thoughts running through his head.

Mom with a woman… 

His eyes focused just for a moment on the red-faced Kurenai.

… _With_ _Kurenai-sensei… th- the couch, kissing, hands…_

Said hands were wringing slightly as Kiba's mother and teacher attempted to explain what had happened.

… _Hands all over… one of_ my _cookies between…_

As the mental image, one that would stay in Kiba's mind for years to come, played over and over again, Kiba felt his stomach clench tightly. It was no longer shock running through his veins. No, it was now accompanied by cold fear as Kiba considered with dread one of the most serious questions he'd ever been faced with.

_Is it wrong that I find all this hot?_

.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1.

Uh… So, yeah.

Okay, before anyone gets all over me, I _know_ that Kiba's favorite food is jerky. However, the thought of even an Inuzuka setting out jerk to entertain a romantic caller struck me incredibly odd. So, I figured peanut butter cookies would be okay, since peanut butter is often sued in dog treats. And, really, who doesn't like peanut butter cookies?

Hm, this ended somewhat awkwardly, didn't it? I was going to leave it at "Kurenai-sensei" but the "is this wrong" line had been with me since the conception of the idea (although it started out as someone's wife and female friend, then wife and sister).

Comments and criticisms are greatly appreciated


End file.
